I don't think social media is very social anymore. We have group chats with forty unread messages, and friends we haven't truly spoken to in months. Everyone is busy, everyone means to reply, and somehow nobody does.
But try this: send one of those friends a real letter, and see what happens. Friends who haven't answered a text in weeks will often sit down and write you a whole page.
A snail mail club turns that into a habit.
How it works
A snail mail club is a small group of friends who agree to send each other letters on a simple rhythm. No apps, no deadlines that feel like homework. Just paper, envelopes, and the pleasure of a mailbox that holds something other than bills.
Set it up in five steps
1. Choose three to six people. Small is better. Pick the friends you miss, not just the ones who are organized. 2. Pick a rhythm. Once a month is ideal. Choose a date, the first Sunday of the month for example, when everyone writes. 3. Decide on a format. Either everyone writes to everyone, or you rotate: each month you write to the next person on the list, so everyone receives one letter a month. 4. Add a monthly theme. It solves the blank page. "A book I'm reading." "A place I miss." "Something I learned this month." "A recipe from my grandmother." 5. Make it tactile. Encourage little extras: a pressed leaf, a ticket stub, a sketch, a photo. These are often what people keep longest.
Keep it gentle
Some months, someone will be late. That's fine. The club isn't an obligation, it's an invitation. A letter that arrives two weeks after the others simply means two more weeks of anticipation for someone.
Why it works when the group chat doesn't
A message demands an answer now. A letter gives you time. Your friends can reply on a quiet evening, when they have something to say. And every letter is proof that someone set aside time just for you, which is a rare thing.
Your own letter, every month
If you'd like a letter to look forward to while you wait for your friends' replies, the Letter & Magazine subscription sends a letter and a postcard each month, with a meditation and a story about art inside, plus a seasonal issue of "(meditating) On Art". Consider it the founding member of your club.
Remember to take as much time as you need, and meet me at the next one.
Love, Evi